10 Reasons Texas SUCKS!

10 Reason Texas Sucks!

Posted on February 7, 2016

Boarding the crowded plane from Chicago was uncomfortable enough with three children under 9. Departing the plane in Dallas was like strolling into hell. The heat and humidity takes your breath away. The airport itself was nothing short of a cluster fuck. Dallas airport was crowded, unimpressive, and I’m pretty sure the air conditioner was off. Then waiting to board yet another plane to arrive at what will be my new home. I’ll have to admit the plane into Midland wasn’t so bad, the plane itself was not crowded at all and quite roomy. In the air the farmland looked like alien landing zones. Midland airport was brand new and deserted, I guess that makes sense for an airport in the desert. The weather was extremely hot, the humidity was gone which only made it a smidge better to deal with. Leaving the airport there was a dusty wind along with ridiculous heat. I was sure this state was hell on earth.

When I found out we were moving to Texas, I was not so happy. Having never been to Texas, but knowing everything I did about the state did not help at all. It didn’t matter my family was moving here and so was I. It is extremely difficult leaving everything you know and your entire family behind. Luckily I have my husband and kids we stick by each others side and it helps. Enough about me though this is about how Texas sucks, but for all you Texas lovers I’ll add some things that don’t suck so much.

1. The Cowboys, no I don’t mean the hot ones on horses either. I’m talking about the football team. Seeing that silver and blue star everywhere make me want to vomit. Jerry Jones (the owner of the Cowboys) is a greedy son-of-a-bitch, technically he should be the asshole in this post, but not today. The team itself is over rated, of course being from Chicago I go with the Bears. Any team that is not the Cowboys is fine in my book.                                                                                                                               
2. The Drivers, are the worst I have ever come across, and I’ve been to Florida. I’ve never seen anything like it. No one uses turn signals, and I’ve never seen anyone get pulled over for it. Texans don’t stop at that line at a stop sign instead they stop in the middle of the road past the stop sign. Texting and driving is legal so everyone seems to be doing it. A lady once while texting stopped at a stop sign did not even look up and kept going. I was there first, but luckily I was paying attention to her.                                                                
3. The Shack Houses, It literally looks like a third world country in some areas. I can not grasp why they are not condemned or demolished. These houses are so dilapidated that I can’t understand how the city does not fine them. Naturally if the house looks bad so does the yard. The best part about these shacks, there’s always a brand new car or truck in the driveway. I can’t understand how you wouldn’t take care of your home, but that’s Texas for you.                                                                                                                   
4. The Guns, look I’m not anti-gun by any stretch of the imagination. I’m speaking of the ease of purchase. In Illinois you apply for a foid card (they do a detailed background check) it takes sometimes months. You purchase a gun and there is a three day hold on a background check. In Texas I can walk into a barber shop, you read that right a fucking barber shop and buy a gun. I just need a Texas identification, fill out a form, the clerk makes a 5 minute phone call, bam here’s your gun!                                                                                                                   
5. The Bugs, you know you’ve entered hell when you have seen a giant flying cockroach in your back yard. I screamed like a 5 year old girl. There are giant beetles, roaches (flying and what they call “water bugs”, no that’s just a huge fucking roach), black widows, brown recluses, the list goes on fucking miserable.
6. Snakes, Scorpians, and Lizards, obviously a rattle snakes those are atrocious think about walking through some brush and then whack a damn snake takes a venomous bite out of you, you’re pretty much fucked unless you seek immediate emergency care. The scorpions can sting you but it’s more of an irritation. Lizards aren’t entirely bad they just scare the shit out of you pretty frequently. I was picking up kids toys one day and out of nowhere a lizard the size of my pinky ran behind the couch. Almost gave me a heart attack.
7. The Garbage, what the hell is wrong with people? Throw your trash away! Literally everywhere you look in this whole damn town plastic bags, used stripes (gas station) cups, McDonalds bags, just trash everywhere. I mean I grew up in the Chicago area, the worst neighborhoods in Chicago are cleaner than this. I guarantee it. It makes me sick looking around living in filth.
   

   
   

   Midland, TX

8. Conservatives, these horrid creatures live in every state, but here they run rampant spewing their obscene agenda. If you’re one of these beasts, I feel sorry for you. Not learning from the past is what caused this. If they keep changing history books this will only get worse. See, I don’t even agree with democrats on every issue, but the all the way right conservatives are a scary breed. They push their beliefs on you whether it be religious, guns, anti welfare, anti abortion, anti gay, that tells me that you’re just a miserable fuck. The list goes on and I’m not the majority here anymore so I guess I have to bend over and take it. The economy always does better with democrats in office, just saying there is proof.
9. The Food, yuck doesn’t even describe some of the atrocities I have consumed. I thought the Mexican food would be good here, since lets face it there are a lot of Mexicans. No, I was wrong it is the worst Mexican food I have ever had. It makes me mad because I love it! Luckily I can cook so I make my own, but it’s disappointing. The pizza, forget about it, I have to settle for Little Caesars or Pizza Hut believe it or not they’re way better than any other pizza place in this hell hole.           
10.  Education, in Texas is pitiful it is by far one of the worst states to get an education. Funny how my kids all seem to be geniuses as soon as they start school here. I have three girls and only one of them was considered gifted in Illinois. In Texas all three are gifted, I was a little shocked by that. My girls went to Chicago Public Schools and they received an excellent education there. Luckily you feel smart talking to any locals, so that’s nice.

I could go on but I think you get my point. There are some pretty good things about Texas, the weather (rarely snow and cold) , southern hospitality, and the money of course. Without money I wouldn’t be here. That being said the rent around this area is outrageous. Mind you this is oil country, so the jobs pay a little more than normal, this does not make up for the rent. It would cost around $2,100 per month for a 2 bedroom. We got lucky knowing someone who owns property, but everyone else is paying WAY too much.

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